I'm Still Alive...

I didn't intend to go four weeks between updates, but life has been very topsy-turvy for me. In the past month, my mom has had not one, but two cancer scares. She had surgery about ten days ago to remove a malignant spot on her face (fortunately, her doctor is very confident they got all of it). Unrelated to the malignancy on her face, the doctors have also found a tumor in her left leg that they're calling "pre-cancerous". Two different doctors have told her that she needs to have surgery to remove this tumor within the next six months. My mom has Type II Diabetes so I'm really concerned about how well she's going to heal after the surgery, especially since the tumor is in the shin part of her leg where there's not a lot of blood flow. I tend to have pretty good intuition and I have this bad feeling that I just can't shake. I'm an only child and I am very, very close to my mom. I can't even think about anything happening to her. Needless to say, all of this has helped put IF into perspective for me.

I really want my mom to have her surgery sooner rather than later just in case the tumor becomes malignant, but my mom is insistent that I cycle in October as planned. I think right now my greatest fear isn't the cycle not working, but the cycle being delayed due to a cyst (my spring cycle was delayed three times due to cysts, but I'm hoping the DHEA I was taking was the culprit). The encouraging news is that my last cycle was normal length and I usually have very short cycles when I have a cyst. Please, just this once, can something fertility related go right for me?

On Friday my CCRM nurse sent me a tentative cycle calendar based on my expected AF date. My retrieval date will be around October 20th. Thank you to everyone for their input on my dilemma of whether or not to do Microarray testing again. I've decided to go ahead and do Microarray testing again... I just can't put myself or my family through another miscarriage right now. I felt a bit of anxiety on Friday when I got my calendar. I think it was the realization that this is my last shot with my OE.

T.