The bill from CCRM for my upcoming cycle came in the mail today and my anxiety level immediately shot through the roof. If I wasn't TTC, I'd have bought a new car several years ago. Instead, I've kept my old car & sunk a pretty penny into repairs. I know it's just a matter of time before something else major goes wrong with it. I've just been afraid to take on the debt of a new car until I have a pregnancy that looks like it's going to stick. For my own peace of mind, I want to maintain all of the financial flexibility I can just in case I'm one of the really unlucky patients that doesn't succeed on my first DE cycle, especially since I don't feel all that secure in my job (there were layoffs last week). I hate that I'm so paranoid, but I can't help it given all the crap that's happened over the last three years. It was so much easier to plunk down the $25K last cycle when Dr. Surrey basically gave me a 50% chance of succeeding. I keep telling myself that in the long-run $25K isn't going to change my life. I know I need this one more chance with my OE for closure, but dang it's a lot of money.
Please let this work.
T.
I Soo know what you mean! It's an obscene amount of money...hoping this is the end for you!
ReplyDeleteI so hope it works for you too.
ReplyDeleteThe money part is awful enough...and then throw all the emotions on top of it and it's nearly enough to do us all in isn't it? But we keep going, one foot in front of the other, marching towards that goal. I sincerely hope this last cycle is the last one you ever have to do :)
ReplyDeleteI am so hopeful for you. Getting that statement from CCRM is always a reminder of how much this process costs us... both financially and emotionally. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI know - it is a shock to see the total there on paper. It is never easy to drop that kind of money, no matter the circumstances. I can't even begin to think of what we could have done with all the money we've spent on cycling. Certainly a down payment on a house...
ReplyDeleteI admire you so much for being able to do this on your own. I could maybe scrape together enough for one IUI on my salary!