from my tentative retrieval date of October 19th. I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that this is really it with my own eggs. After spending a small fortune on medical bills (I think I'm closing in on $90K or so), going to endless doctor and acupuncture appointments, and worrying myself sick for three years over something that I cannot control (my egg quality), I'm very close to the end of this part of my journey. Wow...just freaking wow. Doesn't. seem. possible.
I think what I'm most afraid of with this last OE IVF is coping with another disappointment. The past four weeks or so I've finally gotten over my devastation at the failure of my first CCRM IVF. Now that I'm feeling better, it has made me realize how desperately sad I was most of the summer. I don't want to go back to that. I really think I'm more prepared for bad news this time, but I'm still really dreading the thought of grieving another disappointment and waiting even longer to realize my dreams.
AF arrived on schedule last weekend. I'll start checking for my LH surge tomorrow. Since my first sign of a cyst has always been a short cycle, I'm cautiously optimistic that all is ok for now. I need to get this IVF over with so that my mom can have her surgery ASAP so, just this once, I really need things to go on schedule.
In non-fertility news, I've decided to refinance my house so I've been busy this last week pulling all of my financial information together. My payment will drop by $100-150 per month and I'll shave 8 years off the term. If I only have one child, there's a good chance I'll stay in my house for a very long time & I really like the idea of having it paid off before my child starts college. If I have more than one child (something that's less & less likely as the days go by), I'll likely move into something bigger down the road, but I'm sure it'll be more than two years out, which is my refinance breakeven point.
Have a fabulous week, ladies!
T.
I am so hopeful that this cycle will be a success for you. Thank you for the amazing support you have shown me.
ReplyDeleteHoping for great things for you this cycle!!
ReplyDeleteI understand the anxiety. I went into my last cycle calling it "Plan B" because I just didn't want to build it up so much and I knew, even if it didn't work, it wouldn't be the end of the journey, I'd just be taking a different road. Wishing you nothing but success!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. I am so hopeful for you. This process is so darn hard. I couldn't do it without the support of amazing women like you! Hoping to send some of that support right back to you in the coming month!
ReplyDelete