Today was a little bit better day. As you can imagine, I haven't been the most productive employee in the world this week unless you count staring off into space as productive. Fortunately for me, there's a lull right now after the end of the quarter so there hasn't been a lot of urgent matters for me to handle. This is the time of the quarter when I try to clean out my inbox and address all of those non-critical items that I rarely have time to handle. Today I forced myself to at least make a little dent in my inbox. It made me feel a tad better to at least do something productive. For a little while at least, if asked I would have said that I felt "ok" and that's real progress.
For the last five years I've been super lucky in that I've been able to work from home about 98% of the time. My company was acquired last year and the new company doesn't allow telecommuting, but I've been allowed to continue to telecommute until they could move me to the new company's offices. On Monday (the same day that I found out my Microarray results...I should have stayed in bed & turned off the phone!), the admin called to let me know that I would be moving to the new company's offices next week. You see, I'm a big time planner. I had it all planned out three years ago. I was going to have my baby and be able to see him/her anytime I wanted because I'd be working from home. I figured the working from home would make things easier while I was pregnant and, most importantly, after the baby came since I plan on breastfeeding. Obviously real life didn't pan out quite the way I had it worked out in my head.
When I decided to start TTC, I decided that I wasn't going to buy any baby stuff because I didn't want to jinx things (I have since bought a couple of things that I just couldn't pass up). I didn't think to tell my mom that I didn't want any baby stuff so the first time I saw her after I made my decision she brought me a little pacifier with a Longhorn on it (Texas is my alma mater). Today I happened to see that little pacifier in my drawer where I stuff a bunch of things that I rarely need. Yeah...ouch!
When Dr. Surrey called on Monday, he told me to call him later this week so that we could chat when I was more clearheaded. I'm going to try to reach him tomorrow. I'll let y'all know how it goes.
I'm sooo glad tomorrow is Friday!!
T.
Finding that pacifier must have been hard. I hope the phone call goes well tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI too hope the phone call goes well tomorrow too. I also don't have anything "baby". Actually, if my anxiety gets its way, I won't buy anything "baby" until a baby is born!! I have visions that I'll just set up a baby registry and then give my mom my mastercard and have her buy it all when I'm in the hospital and bring it home. I just don't want any of that stuff around in case I ever miscarry again. So I can imagine it would have been tough to find that pacifier. I look at my one and only u/s photo of baby # 2 in my stronger moments.
ReplyDeleteHave a good night.
I hope you had an even better day today and that the phone call with Dr. Surrey went well.
ReplyDeleteI cannot even bring myself to stop and look at baby things in stores. I'm not sure at what point I'll ever be able to do so. But don't let that pacifier get you down - some day you'll have a little baby Longhorn who will love it. (Hook 'em Horns!)