The Plan

I had a regroup with Dr. Surrey Friday morning. He was very, very sweet & comforting. I could tell that he was truly sorry that my cycle turned out the way it did. I told him that I'd been doing a lot of thinking over the last few days and that I didn't feel I was quite ready emotionally to give up on my own eggs. I told him that I realized the odds weren't in my favor, but that since this had been, in essence, my first IVF cycle, I felt like I wanted to stick to my original plan, which was to cycle at CCRM twice with my own eggs. I explained to him that I'm a big planner so even though I'm going to cycle with my OE, I'm already thinking ahead so I wanted to ask him a few questions about DE. Since I'm CMV-, Dr. Surrey was insistent that I choose an SD that was also CMV-, which greatly reduced my options. I was freaked out that I'd have the same issue with ED, but he explained that it's not a concern for ED like it is for SD (the technical explanation went way way over my head) & that they don't even test EDs for CMV. Whew, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, ladies!! He assured me that I wouldn't need to repeat any of my testing before a DE cycle although I'll need to meet with the pyschiatrist again. I told him I'd prefer to do so in person so I'll take care of that when I'm in Denver in October. I previously met with the psychiatrist at my ODWU to discuss using DS. At the time, I was honestly a bit annoyed at having to have a session with her since I'd already been TTC for two years and had three losses, but I was pleasantly surprised that I got more out of the session than I'd expected. I also asked Dr. Surrey if I could speak to someone about the DE process so he had one of the DE nurses call me later in the afternoon (more on that later).


At one point during the conversation, Dr. Surrey remarked that he hoped I proved him wrong by being successful with this last OE cycle. It was a nice comment, but it did sting quite a bit because it was the first time any of my three REs hasn't been bullish about my chances for success. Dr. Surrey said that he'll keep me on EPP again since I stimmed "beautifully" last time. There is a part of me that wonders how I'd do on MDL since that was the original protocol he picked for me (we had to change to EPP after having to postpone my cycle three times due to cysts), but it's probably best to leave well enough alone since 13 eggs (11 of them mature) is more than I ever thought I'd get. He recommended I do Microarray testing again since he thinks if I had transferred my blast from this cycle, it likely would have implanted & resulted in another miscarriage. I'll do anything to avoid another miscarriage so I'd already decided that I was willing to spend the extra money for the testing. Plus, if by some miracle I am fortunate enough to find the golden egg, I really want to do the transfer without the stim meds in my system given that I've had two biochemical pregnancies. If I'm going to do an FET anyway, the testing isn't that much more expensive. For the last few weeks I've been taking the supplements that Dr. Schoolcraft has started recommending to his poor egg quality patients. Hopefully in the next month or so some of the ladies that have been taking the supplements will start cycling so that I can see if the supplements seem to make much of a difference (the story I've heard is that Dr. Schoolcraft had a 43 year old patient suddenly have a stellar cycle after taking a version of these supplements that's available in Europe).

Friday afternoon the DE nurse called. She was very nice & patient as I peppered her with questions. She said that while there aren't a lot of donors that have red hair, they do have them from time to time. She explained that a lot of donors don't want to cycle during the summer so the donor pool is smaller than normal right now. She said that once the fall semester starts for the local colleges, they'll be doing a lot of recruiting to get new egg donors so hopefully they'll have a few redheads in the bunch. If, when the time comes, there aren't any redheads that I like, she said they would be willing to call former EDs that had a cycle resulting in a successful pregnancy to see if they would be interested in donating again. I felt MUCH better after talking to the nurse because she really felt like I'd be able to find a donor I was happy with if/when I get to to that point. I realize that using a donor from an agency is a possibility, but that seems so much riskier to me. I don't like the idea of shelling out $4K to test a donor and have her end up with high FSH or something (when it comes to infertility, my glass is half empty).


There is definitely a big part of me that is tempted to jump straight to DE. The thought of having an 80% chance of success is very, very tempting. I really dread the thought of another Christmas season without even being pregnant yet. However, after talking to the nurse, it sounds like it would be later this fall before there would be any EDs that would work for me so I don't think cycling with my OE will delay a DE cycle by too much anyway. The nurse said she would send out a packet of information. I'm hoping it will have more information about the screening process.


In the mail today I received the report the GC prepared based on my visit with her before my retrieval. It was quite ironic to be reading about the likelihood of my child having my dad's asthma or my mom's glaucoma given what has transpired over the last few days. It didn't upset me though so that's real progress.

In non-fertility news, I'm getting out of the house tomorrow to shop for a new couch. It wasn't in my budget for this year to buy a new couch, but my dog had other ideas as she used to scratch the bottom of it when no one was paying attention to her. She finally seems to have outgrown that stage, but the couch now looks like crap. My family room isn't the easiest to decorate. I just happened to have a couch with a slight curve to it when I bought my house and this couch shape fits the room perfectly. I'm not sure how easy it's going to be to find something else that will work, but it'll do me good to have a fun project to focus on while I wait to cycle again this fall. Does anyone else now measure expenses in cycling terms (well, that couch costs the same as ICSIX2)?!


Have a great weekend, ladies! From the bottom of my heart, thank you SO much for all of the support this week. With your support & now that I have my plan set, I'm in a MUCH better place than I was on Monday. Onwards & upwards!

Hugs,
T.